A COUNTERFEIT BETROTHAL by Mary Balogh

PUBLISHER: Signet 6/1992
REISSUE: Dell, 4/2013
GENRE: Historical Romance
MY GRADE: F

SYNOPSIS: Lady Sophia Bryant had no intention of ever marrying. However, her own parents had been estranged for some fourteen years, and her one desire was to bring them together again in love. Surely, if she were to announce her betrothal—even a false one—they would be forced to see each other at last.

Lord Francis Sutton was perfect for such deceit. Devilishly handsome and a notorious rake, he was always agreeable to games of passion, especially those in which he had nothing to fear and nothing to lose. The trap was set...if only Lady Sophia could keep her foolish heart from falling prey to her brilliant snares...

MY THOUGHTS/SPOILERS: This was awful. Sophia is an 18-year-old who comes up with an ignorant plan to get her parents back together. She goes through with very expensive wedding  preparations for herself and 21-year-old Francis, inconveniencing many guests who have to travel to her parents estate for the wedding, all unknowing the wedding is to be called off last minute. She claims she never even thought about all that. That just shows how self-centered she is. We know nothing of her life before the story begins. Francis goes along with her plan, revealing at the end that he does in fact want to marry her and has from the start. They've been friends most, if not all, of their lives yet we're to believe that out of nowhere he wants to marry her? I never got the impression that they were close friends or were in each other's lives that much.

Sophia's mother, Olivia, is 36. She and Sophia's father, 40-year-old Marcus, have lead separate lives for the past 14 years, since he cheated on her with a prostitute while drunk. They're both alright characters. What really brings them back together is a damn baby. She doesn't tell him she's pregnant until two weeks before she gives birth and has the gall to get angry at him for not being around. That scene was stupid because Olivia's behavior and dialogue was very out of character for her. 

I didn't like the dueling plotlines at all but Sophia's parents story was much more interesting than her own. The author told us probably five times how old Olivia was and Francis kept making jokes about Sophia needing to go to Bedlam, the insane asylum, and it got old fast. Luckily for me this novel was only 260 pages.

TWO CHILDREN'S HALLOWEEN STORIES- THE NIGHT BEFORE HALLOWEEN by Natasha Wing, Illustrated by Cynthia Fisher and WITCHES' NIGHT BEFORE HALLOWEEN by Lesley Pratt Bannatyne, Illustrated by Adrian Tans

TITLE: THE NIGHT BEFORE HALLOWEEN

PUBLISHER: Grosset and Dunlap, 1999
READ FREE: link
MY GRADE: A

SYNOPSIS: Little monsters and goofy goblins take center stage in this silly, spooky spin on Clement C. Moore's beloved poem. But what will happen on Halloween when the monsters come face to face with human trick-or-treaters in this fun-filled book by the author of The Night Before Easter?

MY THOUGHTS: Very cute. This is 36-pages and it's very colorful. I love the line, "The wicked witch said, "Welcome. We have a surprise." And the children said, "Run! It's not a disguise!" The book is only as long as the poem.

My favorite image is below.

TITLE: WITCHES' NIGHT BEFORE HALLOWEEN

PUBLISHER: Pelican, 2007

READ FREE: link

MY GRADE: A+

SYNOPSIS: In this spooky parody of Clement C. Moore's famous Christmas poem, the witches are up to their elbows in cobwebs and slime, trying to make sure their witchlings are well prepared for their first Halloween broomstick ride. Featuring witches like Mad-Maud and Snaggle-Tooth-Ruth and plenty of ghouls, zombies, monsters, skeletons, and moldy cellars that will satisfy all Halloween lovers, this good-natured book about these wickedly fun witches will have kids more amused than frightened.

MY THOUGHTS: This is great for adults but too advanced for children in elementary school. They wouldn't know what some of the words meant, and some middle school kids too. The artwork is top-notch and very spooky, with skeletons, graveyards, decapitated head, ect. I'm sure many adults have this in their collection.

My favorite image is below.

TOO MANY PUMPKINS by Linda White, Illustrated by Megan Lloyd and THE LONG WAIT by Budge Wilson, Illustrated by Eugenie Fernandes

PUBLISHER: Oak Live Media, 1993

READ FREE: link

MY GRADE: A

SYNOPSIS: Rebecca Estelle has hated pumpkins ever since she was a girl when pumpkins were often the only food her family had. When an enormous pumpkin falls off a truck and smashes in her yard, she shovels dirt over the pieces and forgets about them. But those slimy pumpkin smithereens sprout up in autumn, and Rebecca Estelle finds a sea of pumpkins in her garden.

MY THOUGHTS: This 36- page story is about a woman who chose to make food and jack o'lanterns out of a lot of unwanted pumpkins that grew in her yard. It brought the whole town together. The illustrations are very colorful and I especially love her cat, Esmeralda. I don't use the word "lovely" but this was so lovely.

TITLE: THE LONG WAIT by Budge Wilson

READ FREE: link
MY GRADE: B

SYNOPSIS: Deirdre did not have a sleek and velvet coat. She did not have a lean and graceful body. She did not walk like a queen with her head in the air. But to the Wilsons, Deirdre was a very special cat. Whenever they came home, she was always there, waiting on the braided mat in the front hall. Then, one year a terrible thing happened.

MY THOUGHTS: This is about a black cat named Deirdre who's on vacation with her family. Her owner opens her cage in the car to check on her and she escapes! After a month, she shows up at someone's home and is returned to her owners. It's not said whether Deirdre enjoyed her time away from her family, just that she hated being in a cage. 

This story had no moral or lesson to be learned. I don't think I've never read a children's book where specific real places were mentioned like they were in here, several places in Canada. I also don't like the faces on some of the family members.

2 CHILDREN'S HALLOWEEN STORIES- BIG PUMPKIN by Erica Silverman, Illustrated by S.D. Schindler and TEN TIMID GHOSTS by Jennifer O'Connell

TITLE: BIG PUMPKIN
PUBLISHER: Alladin, 8/1992
READ FREE: link
MY GRADE: A

SYNOPSIS: The witch has grown the biggest pumpkin ever, and now she wants to make herself a pumpkin pie for Halloween. But the pumpkin is so big she can't get it off the vine. It’s so big the ghost can’t move it, either. Neither can the vampire, nor the mummy. It looks as if there’ll be no pumpkin pie for Halloween, until along comes the bat with an idea to save the day. How can the tiny bat succeed where bigger and strong spooky creatures have failed? You'll be surprised!

 

MY THOUGHTS: The witch is desperate to take the pumpkin off the vine so she can bake a pumpkin pie. She's visited one at a time by a ghost, vampire, mummy, and bat. They too want pie so they do their best to help her. Then a good time is had by all. Afterward the witch goes right back outside to plant a pumpkin seed for next year! I like that the witch is nice, not evil, though you'd expect her to be in a children's book. And like all, or most, children's books, this was very short and to the point.

TITLE: TEN TIMID GHOSTS by Jennifer O'Connell
PUBLISHER: Scholastic, 2000
MY GRADE: A
READ FREE: link

SYNOPSIS: It's Halloween, and ten timid ghosts in a haunted house have a problem: a mean witch is preparing to move in and scare them away, one by one! Young trick-or-treaters learn to count backwards from ten to one as each ghost flies away to the woods after seeing a gleaming skeleton, a bat black as night, a frightening hoot owl, or an enormous rat, just a few of all the witch's tricks. But one clever ghost, before flying away, unravels the witch's plan! Together, the ghosts rise up against the witch in a big, scary BOO! 

MY THOUGHTS: The witch tries to run the ghosts out by pranking each and every one of them. You can see her discreetly in each scene as she pranks them, which is funny. She succeeds but they get revenge. Love it because I love a revenge story.

My favorite image is below because you can see the witch's bag of tricks.

TWO CHILDREN'S BOOKS FEATURING WITCHES: EXCUSE ME...ARE YOU A WITCH? by Emily Horn, Illustrated by Pawel Pawlak and ROOM ON THE BROOM by Julia Donaldson, Illustrated by Axel Scheffler

TITLE: Excuse Me...Are You a Witch?

PUBLISHER: Siphano Picture Books, 2002

GENRE: Children's Fiction
READ FREE: link
MY GRADE: A

SYNOPSIS: Herbert doesn't have a home. He doesn't have any friends, and when the weather's bad life is pretty unpleasant. Except for the library -- it's always warm, and there are lots of good books to read. But you can't live at the library! Then, while reading one day, Herbert learns that witches love pets -- especially black cats! Now all Herbert has to do is find a witch .

MY THOUGHTS: This is sweet. It's a 32-page full color children's book about a lonely, homeless black cat named Herbert. He wanders into a library and reads a book called The Encyclopedia of Witches. He learns that witches love black cats most of all. He sets off to find one. He wanders around town, thinking he's spotted one over and over again, only to find out the people aren't witches. He visits the library again and finds a group of "witch-schoolgirls" inside. They love him on sight and invite him to go to school with him. 

My favorite image is below, where they're leaving the library with him.

TITLE: ROOM ON A BROOM 

PUBLISHER: Puffin, 2001

READ FREE: link

MY GRADE: A+

SYNOPSIS: The witch and her cat are happily flying through the sky on a broomstick when the wind picks up and blows away the witch's hat, then her bow, and then her wand! Luckily, three helpful animals find the missing items, and all they want in return is a ride on the broom. But is there room on the broom for so many friends? And when disaster strikes, will they be able to save the witch from a hungry dragon?

MY THOUGHTS: I love this. It's 36-pages, full color with rhyming verses. Being a children's book, it paints the witch in a good light. She and her cat help out a dog, bird, and frog, having misadventures along with way. All four help her out of a horrible situation with a dragon at the end and she gets rewarded with a special broom.

Someone did an animated television movie for this but it's not the 2012 version (the illustrations are identical to those in the book and this version is only 10:19 long) and all the voices are done by the same woman. They changed the word "fries" to "chips." The BBC version that was put onto DVD has different animation and a different person narrates each character.

LOVE'S LEADING LADIES by Kathryn Falk

PUBLISHER: Pinnacle, 1/1982
GENRE: Nonfiction
MY GRADE: A

SYNOPSIS: Here, for the first time, is an intimate look at the women who write the bestsellers that bring passion, charm, and happiness into the lives of countless readers.

As the Barbara Walters of personal interviews, Kathryn Falk-and avid romantic novel fan herself-has asked intriguing questions of favorite authors, who now tell all about their home lives, their hopeful dreams, and devastating disappointments. Even about their own romantic experiences!

Complete with photographs, facts, favorite recipes, astrological signs, and up-to-date lists of published works-plus others soon to be released-this one-of-a-kind anthology is an absolute must for the more than 20 millions romantic novel fans who find themselves fascinated by...LOVE'S LEADING LADIES.

Authors profiled: link.

MY THOUGHTS: I loved this. Each author got 4-6 pages and there's a mix of both historical romance and contemporary authors. Seems like over half included one of the author's favorite recipes. There's a black and white headshot of every single author except Kathleen E. Woodiwiss, who got an illustration of herself instead. The author called her "reclusive" and said she was a "born-again Christian" who doesn't answer fan mail. We learned that authors Iris Bancroft and Rebecca Brandewyne are MENSA members and that Rosemary Rogers and Shirlee Busbee, two of the biggest authors of the 80s, worked together for a time while Rosemary was a published author. Julie Ellis wears a size 3 US shoe! Author Virginia L. Hart (who apparently goes by the name Ginger) is married to famous country singer Freddie Hart, who died a few years ago.

Parris Afton Bonds is a born-again Christian and here's something odd she said to justify having raped heroines in her books, "I find my approach amusing, because as a tyro at writing romance I found it very difficult to justify sexual intercourse between two unmarried characters and still remain true to my Christian tenets. As a result I often had to resort to 'rape' between my hero and the heroine in order to juggle the sex and romance!"

Barbara Cartland is pretty funny, "That's why I'm selling millions of paperbacks to women who are on Valium because they're having such a rotten time in real life." "I don't like most women," she admits without hesitation. "I can't bare ugly women who sit about doing nothing but waiting to play bridge. All my life I have thought men were something very special. It is a treat to be alone with them. I prefer a dumb man to an intelligent woman." She also calls herself "some sort of British heirloom."

THE OBSERVATIONS by Jane Harris

PUBLISHER: Faber and Faber, 2006 

GENRE: Historical Fiction 

SETTING: Scotland, 1863

MY GRADE: B

SYNOPSIS: Scotland, 1863. In an attempt to escape her not-so-innocent past in Glasgow, Bessy Buckley - the wide-eyed Irish heroine of The Observations - takes a job as a maid in a big house outside Edinburgh working for the beautiful Arabella. Bessy is intrigued by her new employer, but puzzled by her increasingly strange requests and her insistence that Bessy keep a journal of her most intimate thoughts. And it seems that Arabella has a few secrets of her own, including her near-obsessive affection for Nora, a former maid who died in mysterious circumstances. 

Then a childish prank has drastic consequences which throw into jeopardy all that Bessy has come to hold dear. Caught up in a tangle of madness, ghosts, sex, and lies, she remains devoted to Arabella. But who is really responsible for what happened to her predecessor Nora? As her past threatens to catch up with her and complicate matters even further, Bessy begins to realize that she has not quite landed on her feet.

MY THOUGHTS: This was strange and interesting but led nowhere, really. Though I liked it, I wouldn't recommend it. It was pretty slow-moving. Timespan is 3 years. Bessy finds employment within Arabella's household. She then finds that former maid Nora died while working there, found dead on the railroad tracks. We're left wondering if it was murder or suicide. The ending, learning what really happened to Nora, was a gigantic disappointment. I didn't see much point in Bessy's mother being in the story physically either. We learn something really foul that happened with mother and daughter a few years before that made me cringe.

The title comes from a journal Bessy finds in Arabella's drawer. Arabella's keeping notes on some in her employ and plans to write a book. She wants Bessy to keep a journal too but nothing ever comes of the planned book. I also don't understand how seemingly out of nowhere Arabella loses her mind near the end of the story. Arabella's a very peculiar person and we got no background information on her.

 

ROCK N' ROLL COMICS: DEF LEPPARD, 1989

PUBLISHER: Revolutionary Comics

ISSUE: Volume 1 Number 5, 11/1989 (two printings)
ALL IMAGES: link

MY GRADE: C

MY THOUGHTS: I'm not at all familiar with comic books and this one appears to have six different stories, two of which have nothing to do with Def Leppard. Upon reading about Rock N' Roll Comics, I see that at least one of those last two comics are in every issue. Really only two of the stories are good but this is still worth owning. The faces are pretty awful and most look nothing like the members. I love seeing the two-page ads in the center and seeing how inexpensive t-shirts and posters were, and the shipping was only $2 per order!

Owner of the company and writer of the stories, Todd Loren, was murdered in 1992 and it's still unsolved. Search his name at Youtube.

ROCKET TO THE TOP, a play on the Def Leppard song Rocket from Hysteria, is the first story and is a fictional biography of the band and is pretty good.

DED LEPERS is the second story and it's awful. It's about a Def Leppard "Golden Greats" album of hits that's being sold on television. It comes with a Rick Allen doll which has a removable arm that's holding a drumstick. Then it turns into a story about Margaret Thatcher trying to get tax money out of them. 

WHERE THERE'S A WILL, the third story, tastefully done about drummer Rick Allen losing his arm in 1984.

DEF LEPPARD: HYSTERIA is the forth story and it's odd and stupid. A bunch of famous actors/horror film characters and musicians are hanging out with the band members after a concert (I guess.)

STAN BACK is a comic strip that's in all issues and is one page long. Some guy calls the Heist Corporation Funding Group. He gets a recording instead of a live person so he shoots the phone. The bullet goes through it and comes out of the phone of the Heist Corporation.

TWISTED IMAGE is a parity of film critics Siskel and Ebert but they're called Siskull and Eggbert and some nonsense about a nuclear holocaust.

THE DOLL FACTORY by Elizabeth Macneal

PUBLISHER: Picador, 5/2019

GENRE: Historical Fiction

SETTING: England, 1850

MY GRADE: B

SYNOPSIS: London. 1850. The Great Exhibition is being erected in Hyde Park and among the crowd watching the spectacle two people meet. For Iris, an aspiring artist, it is the encounter of a moment – forgotten seconds later, but for Silas, a collector entranced by the strange and beautiful, that meeting marks a new beginning.

When Iris is asked to model for pre-Raphaelite artist Louis Frost, she agrees on the condition that he will also teach her to paint. Suddenly her world begins to expand, to become a place of art and love. But Silas has only thought of one thing since their meeting, and his obsession is darkening . . .

MY THOUGHTS: I enjoyed this even though it was slow-moving and nothing happened until the end. It wasn't as suspenseful as I'd expected and hoped. I disliked the ending more than I liked it. Timespan is about two years.

I really liked black-haired 39-year-old Silas Reed and his disturbed mind and bad deeds. We got a little background information on his childhood but I'd have liked some, any at all, about his adulthood. We know his occupation but that's it. He's odd and reminds me of the lead character in Perfume. I wish he'd have had more interaction with Iris. I think he met her twice briefly.

Iris Whittle is twenty-one and has a twin sister, Rose, who was disfigured by smallpox a few years previous. They have red hair and green eyes. Rose is jealous, and judgmental, of Iris and doesn't want to be apart from her. Iris has a twisted collarbone and Silas is fascinated by it. I really thought Rose would try to make Iris's life miserable once she quit working at the doll factory but sadly, she didn't. I also thought the same of their pill-popping, laudanum sipping boss, Mrs. Salter. She's abusive (pinches the backs of their arms) and more could have been done with her character. I'm not sure why their parents were in the story. We met them once and I think Iris once got a letter of disapproval from them once. I just didn't see the point of mentioning them at all, especially since they didn't live at home. Iris's love interest, Louis, is bland as can be. I thought he'd be a bad character for some reason but he wasn't. 

I like the street urchin Albie, who's age was never given. He's a good person. He was suspicious of Silas from the start but was given no reason for feeling that way. The author should have given him a reason. I don't like that he had only one tooth because that's the only adult tooth that grew in. I thought that was ridiculous. I assume his sister is either the blond or "white-haired" woman at the end of the story who had a child and worked for Iris or Rose since the author made a point to tell us she was blond the last time she was mentioned. 

So, the book was interesting, albeit a bit boring, and so much more could have been done with every single character. I don't think any of them were well developed. The title doesn't suit this either since nothing happens at the doll factory, which seems more like a shop anyway.

DEF LEPPARD: THE DEFINITIVE VISUAL HISTORY by Ross Halfin

PUBLISHER: Chronical Books, 5/2011
PURCHASE: link

READ FREE: link
IMAGES: link

MY GRADE: A

SYNPOSIS: Def Leppard's unstoppable, anthemic hard rock has earned it sales of more than 65 million albums worldwide and a legion of dedicated fans. This fully authorized visual history of the band follows them from the new wave of British heavy metal to their massive Pyromania and Hysteria albums to the sustained power of their records and tours today. 

Legendary rock photographer Ross Halfin has been shooting Def Leppard since 1978, and his candid and definitive pictures have helped capture and shape the image of the band. Def Leppard includes more than 450 classic and unseen photographs, along with text from Halfin and stories and commentary by the band members and others.

MY THOUGHTS: This is a heavy hardcover with thick glossy, mostly full color photos that go in order by albums. Some have captions, most don't. It measures 11.25"x.75"x9.25". There's a two-page intro from Joe and one to two pages each from the other members where they reminisce. Journalist Paul Elliott and tour manager Malvin Mortimer get a couple pages each too, as does Ross Halfin himself. Both Malvin and Ross are interviewed in the Classic Albums: Hysteria television episode from 2002. Malvin is shown in the DVD bonus features. It's real fucked up that former member and guitar player Pete Willis didn't get so much as one paragraph to give his thoughts considering he cowrote some of their best songs. At least there are plenty of photos of him with the band in here. I like the pre-Adrenalize era photos (and music, been a fan since childhood, 1987) best. 

Ross said this about Steve, "The last time I saw Steve was at Hammersmith Odeon. He was odd; it was like talking to someone I didn't know. He kept asking if I had any cocaine. His father was with him, someone who seemed to be jealous of his son and instead of looking after him, encouraged him to drink. That's how I saw it, and it's sad..."

This is a photo book so not a lot can be said other than I enjoyed the photos and would have liked more text. I liked hearing what the band members had to say and would have liked more of that.

My favorite image from inside the book is below:

THE PIRATE AND THE PAGAN by Virginia Henley

PUBLISHER: Dell, 11/1990
GENRE: Fiction/Historical Romance
SETTING: England and the sea, 1660s
BODICE RIPPER? Yes

MY GRADE: A

SYNOPSIS: Wild as a pagan goddess, Lady Summer galloped her stallion along the Cornish coast. She had dabbled in the smuggler's game to save her family estate, but a wealthy marriage would better serve her purpose now. Lord Ruark Helford seemed the answer to her reckless prayers. But as his hot, hungry kisses drew her toward deception and irresistible acts of love, she had to hesitate. Would this arrogant, handsome lord be her ticket to heaven--or hell?

MY THOUGHTS: I really liked this. Summer's a hazel-eyed 17-year-old spitfire. She has a brother, Spencer, who's three years younger. They're dirt poor and are about to lose their home. They smuggle to stay alive and she's a highwayman sometimes. They've only got one relative, aunt Lil, their father's sister. I wish she had played a larger roll. She's not a bad character at all but I could see her doing bad deeds. 

Ruark's age isn't given. He's a pirate so I'm assuming he's much older than she. She needs his money to save their home, Roseland, and they marry too fast without his knowledge of why she's truly marrying him. He smacks her on three different occasions (chapter 21, 33, 39) and rapes her once. Despite that, I like him. He has a younger brother, Rory, and there's a love triangle between all of them. That, I like and it added depth to the plot. There's a major twist involving that that I didn't like at all.

The only negatives are that the story was too long and there were too many explicit sex scenes.

THE LITTLE MERMAID AND OTHER FAIRY TALES by Hans Christian Andersen, Illustrated by Isabelle Brent

PUBLISHER: Viking, 10/1998

IMAGES: link

MY GRADE: C

SYNOPSIS: The Little Mermaid is one of the most haunting stories ever written. Its author, Hans Christian Andersen, made the literary fairy tale so much his own that even today no writer has surpassed him.

This collection, with an introduction and fresh new renderings of the tales by Neil Philip, includes not just "The Little Mermaid" but also such favorites as "The Tinderbox," "The Emperor's New Clothes," "The Steadfast Tin Soldier," and "The Little Match Girl."

Includes the stories The Tinderbox, Little Ida's Flowers, The Little Mermaid, The Emperor's New Clothes, The Steadfast Tin Soldier, The Flying Trunk, The Sweethearts, The Bell, The Little Match Girl, The Collar, The Goblin at the Grocer's, In a Thousand Years' Time, Five Peas From the Same Pod, The Beetle, The Toad, Dance, Dance, Dolly Mine!, The Gardener and His Master

MY THOUGHTS: This is a really nice looking book. The full color illustrations are predominantly blue, for some reason, and you can view every single one here. There is at least one full color illustration for each story except there are none at all for The Sweethearts, In a Thousand Years' Time, and Dance, Dance, Dolly Mine!,

The stories I like best are "Little Ida's Flowers." It's really cute. It's about flowers who dance and have parties at night when humans aren't around, and inanimate objects come alive and join in the fun. Someone in the story says that butterflies are really flowers who've jumped off the stems. "The Sweethearts" is funny and is about a top and leather ball, toys that belong to a child, that are stored in a drawer together, get separated, then meet up again years later. There's a silly yet very funny short story called "The Collar", about a shirt collar with quite the personality, an iron, garter, and comb who still has all her teeth. Other good ones are The Little Mermaid, The Little Match Girl, The Steadfast Tin Soldier, and The Emperor's New Clothes. The rest aren't good at all, so I liked 7 out of 17.